Be a Man Not a Tough Guy
Hey. My name is Max. I'm angry. I'm so angry that I’m gonna crush your friggin’ skull. I’m gonna reach through your screen, grab you by the throat and choke you. Yes, you. You’re. Going. Down.
Sounds manly? Sounds tough, strong and in control, right? Wrong. Max is not a real man. Max is a Tough Guy.You don’t wanna be a Tough Guy.
You want to be a MAN!
Let’s look at our friend Max. You know the type. Brooding, raging, tight-fisted(literally), grimacing, testosterone-maniac, leaning over his drink and glaring at you from the other side of the room. Ever-ready for a fight, waiting for an excuse to kick some ass. And he can. He has control over others, that much is obvious. But does he have control over himself?
Why do I need self-control, you ask? It’s simple really: when you're in control of yourself, you're in control of your reactions and responses. And when you're in control of those, you can totally own the setting, whether you're at an event, a party, a family gathering, whatever.
Being in control of yourself allows you to take charge of the external factors in a situation, helping you see things for what they are instead of flying off the handle randomly like Max.
Look, I admit, people who are pissed off are seldom messed with. Thing is, they’re also seldom liked. Giving into your anger does 100% harm to you and gives you 0% benefit. Here’s how that works: when you allow rage to consume you, your logic becomes blinded.
You can't see reason, you can't see truth, you just see RED. Know what that is? That’s weakness. That’s Tough Guyism. And this is makememanly, not makemeawuss.
I'm not saying don't be angry. You can't control it Yet, neither could I. Anger is natural, it’s human, and if your balls have dropped then anger is most certainly an emotion you're familiar with. I’m saying master it. Don't let it control you, no, you must control IT.
Wanna know how to do just that? I’ve got the solution right here for ya. I’m no messiah, but hell I'm about to deliver a divine message:
- Next time you're pissed, stop whatever you're doing and take a deep breath. Cliché? No. Anger causes stress, which makes your blood pump faster and your brain need oxygen, so a big breath goes a long way.
- Drink a glass of water. After the deep breath of course, if you did both simultaneously you'd choke. The water will cool your flaming temper down just enough to start thinking rationally.
- This here is an important one: ask yourself, this situation, this thing that’s pissed me off, is it important? Will it matter six months from now? Two weeks? A day? An hour? If you’re gonna be angry, at least let it be for good reason.
- Accept the fact that what’s done is done. Something or someone pissed you off. You can't, as much as we often wish, hop into Marty McFly’s Delorean and head back in time, so try and make peace with the fact that it’s happened and you have to live with it.
- Don’t play the ‘what if’ game. As I said, you can't turn back time, ‘what if’ing will only help if you're a masochist who gets off on making himself suffer. Men don't fret over the past. Real men are the ones who…
- Fix the situation. Whatever went wrong to make you mad, you can still remedy the situation by doing whatever’s necessary: letting go. The key to self-control is the ability to know that sometimes it’s good to walk away, sometimes it’s good to let things go. If you let everything piss you off in life, sooner or later you're gonna crack.
Anger happens. No stopping it, no denying it. But we don’t have to become like our good friend Max and rage over every damn little thing. Stress, heart issues, digestion problems, bad moods, insomnia, that’s what awaits you when you become a Tough Guy. He’s an idiot. You don’t wanna be like him.
In the words of the great Russell Peters: “be a man!”
-Aaron
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