Long Distance Relationships Vs Long Distance Dating
You're day dreaming of a road trip with your buddies,
classic music playing in the background and the wild west wind smashing through
your hair. The destination: your
long lost lover who you expect to be pining for you .
It kills you just thinking
about how long it’s been since you got to see her. You get there only to find
that she’s been dating a ton of guys and your heart is shattered, alternately,
the roles are reversed.
Why? Because there’s a distinct difference between long
distance relationships and long distance dating. Buckle Up Guys, I’m about to
take you on a hell of a relationship road trip in this article.
I have been down this road and I have to say, that whole
cliché about long distance relationships not working is both true and false.
Let me tell you why, some lazy MotherFudger didn't put the handbook out
explaining the rules to long distance relationships.
If I find whoever started
this, the very first couple who did long distance relationship, I’ll slap them
right back into their mother’s womb. Do not fear, Man of Steel is here…okay not
really but I'm about to unload a storm of relationship advice.
Nevertheless, the very first thing you need to
keep in mind is….
Commitment
When you're in a relationship, it means commitment. You
commit yourself to your partner on all levels. Mind, body and Soul. However,
you need to get one thing straight with your partner – Are you in a relationship or are you dating? No matter how awkward
that sounds, you ask the question and you follow it up with another – What are the rules to this relationship?
Dating means you're testing the waters. You go out, get to
know each other and bla bla you get the point. To sum it up, you take the same
definition of dating, the same rules, the same ideas and you apply it over a
long distance. Dating does not necessarily mean commitment.
It does not
necessarily mean that you are a couple. It does not necessarily mean that you
are not allowed to see other people. It sounds ridiculous but you have no idea
how many people don’t know this! It’s a shocker, I just peed myself from the
shock, no joke!
Communication and
Realistic Expectations
It is essential that there’s a great, not good but Great
flow of communication between a couple who are trying a long distance
relationship. Fact is you can't see the person everyday and neither of you may
be able to afford to visit each other as often as you would like.
You need to
make sure every concern you have is aired.
If you have to write a card or send a cupcake with a message, you do it.
Like I mentioned
earlier, long distance dating lacks commitment, it doesn't have that. You can
date many people in the interim period of seeing each other again.
It really isn't rocket science but then again, relationships are more complicated than
even rocket science nevertheless, the rest of this article focusses on the
Relationship aspect of things.
Love thy Self and
Want more for Thy self
You
need to love yourself and feel complete as a person before looking to be with
someone. We've spoken about doing away with the cliché of a person completing
you.
Here at Mx3 we believe that a man has to complete himself and find someone
to join up with and make a Completed team.
Sort yourself out first, make the best decisions and choices for
yourself and in turn, you'll be able to allow your partner to make the best
decision for herself. It’s ping pong people, you hit, she hits.
I am going to
say this even though I have failed in a long distance relationship – Long Distance Relationships Can Work.
In saying that, I'm going to tell you a few things that I
experienced and ignored during such relationships:
- If you have strong doubts about your partner – You Tell Her! Don't keep it to yourself, it will eat at you.
- You should Not need to fight for her attention when it’s your turn for it. Period.
- Trust is Earned….if she does nothing to earn it, don’t give it.
- If she cheats, walk away immediately! You can hate on this point but it’s the best thing you could do for yourself, ever.
- Give your Best – So if it ends, you have no regrets and no What If phases to go through. The fault WILL be only hers.
- Communicate more often.
- Don't air your jealousy all the time. It will backfire on you big time.
- Be Confident and do not make your life revolve around this person. I repeat, DO NOT!
In my opinion, I choose none. I would not do a long distance
relationship or dating because it simply does not work for me.
However, it has
worked for some and you only learn from trying so if there’s someone who you
believe is worth the effort, simply Try.
We have reached our new destination
folks and it is called Manliness-town and Mx3 is running things. You better
saddle up because things are just kicking off and boy do we have a lot in store
for you.
If you believe that you're unique, no amount of distance can break that belief and no person can
steal your identity….unless it’s on
the internet in which case you're pretty much screwed.
-Zak
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